This one is for you.

So many friends and family posting such great memories and thoughts about you today, Polly.  As your sister mentioned in her Facebook post, it's been 5 years since we lost you.  I can't believe that much time has gone by...  As Frank said today, there has been so much to tell you as we navigate our lives forward.  I think that has been my strongest feeling, wanted to share news with you still.  I know that you are with me somehow when I get this urge to call or email you to tell you something that happened in my life.  I still feel your presence here so strongly.

Thought it would be appropriate to post the lyrics of Polly's favorite song of mine today.  I can't count the number of times she would come in my room and sit at the foot of my bed and ask me to sing it for her.  This one is for you Polly.

Fine
It now grows near
my winter mind
I have loved you
all this time
my October heart
your November smile
our merry December
your new January
little tears in February
all of these months
you were mine
all of these months
after you
all of these months
I live without you
I will be fine
I will be fine.

-kn

Not forgotten

It makes me so happy to read that someone else won't throw their old phone away because it has a text message from Polly. That is why I won't get rid of my old phone. A text from Polly telling me about one of her stand-up comedy group shows. She was inviting me and even though it was last minute, I was there. She was so funny and the audience was roaring with laughter every time she did something up on stage. I've been dreaming of Polly for the past 3 nights. It's always good to see her even if only in my dreams. And in my dreams, she is always laughing, smiling and being a goofball.

Happy Birthday Polly!

Happy Birthday Polly. You are so missed and loved by us all.

Movies and such

Hey Polly girl. Been thinking about you today. So many things I want to tell you and so many new songs to play you.
I was remembering all of the movies we went to in Los Angeles and I was thinking about the last film we ever saw together. It was here in Portland at the Laurelhurst Theater. We saw "The Darjeeling Limited" and you loved it so much. First you marveled that the theater sold beer and wine (such a cool thing Portland does). When the movie ended you looked at me very seriously and said "That is the kind of role I want to get, in exactly that kind of smart, witty, poignant film". Polly, you would have been perfect for films like that. I know you would have gotten those roles soon. You were doing so well with your acting and the comedy-workshops you were doing.
Miss you, as always- k

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Polly! Going on a hike today and will be thinking of all the hikes we went on together. I know hundreds of your friends and family are thinking about you on this special day. Can you feel us down here?

From my hike this morning...

Remember Polly Today

I know everyone who loves you is thinking of you today Polly. Sending all of my love up to you in heaven.
Miss you so much.

On my mind

Just wanted to say I was thinking about you Polly. With every new season my head fills with memories of you.

Merry Christmas Polly

Was looking at an old hard drive and found these pictures of Polly. Made me so happy at first to see her again, and then so sad because I miss her so much. I love the one of her at the beach. We used to have the bonfires with all of our close friends every month or so. Such good memories.

I think about you all the time.... Have really been missing you a lot lately. You'll never believe that Eavan just turned 10 and Nick is now 18. I was looking through pictures to find good ones of Nick for his senior yearbook ad and it dawned on me that you never got to see him with his braces off. I hope and pray that you're able to see them grow up from where you are... such awesome kids, I'm so lucky.

There are tons of turtles all in and around the lake where I run. Today the thought occurred to me that maybe I should bring Goobs down here and let him be free - is there such a thing as a turtle being too domesticated to live in the wild? He probably wouldn't get his cottage cheese out there so maybe it's not such a good idea. He's just been so active lately in his aquarium - I told Eavan to let him out and run around her room tomorrow while she's at school.

So much I want to catch you up on - hopefully you already know about everything... if so you probably know that I haven't been the same since you left. I miss the old me but I miss you more...

Love you

Still on my mind so much..

Really have been missing you lately Polly. Has anyone else had Polly flowing through their hearts and minds? My cell phone lost power along with my friend at the same time even though they had a full charge. It was odd, and then of course we both said Polly. I'd like to think so.

missing you

What I wouldn't give to spend two or three hours on the phone with you confessing all my recent misadventures and hearing all about yours. I don't think I ever truly understood or appreciated our love and level of companionship. Only now that I'm left to my own devices do I fully realize what a blessing you were in my life. There was never a better friend than you. I miss you all the time.

Heidi

Happy Birthday

Polly, I know you can see all of us down here missing you so badly. Happy Birthday to you today. I think of you all the time.
Thought I would post a picture you took of yourself when I wasn't looking. It was great to find this later on my camera.

Polly and I met at Grand Valley State University. Golly we have some Great stories. In March of 2007 I came out to LA for a visit. And of course more great stories and joys of reminiscing. I am so glad I was able to spend that time with Pols. I too, cannot delete her phone numbers or email addresses. I pass through your name and smile as a tear chases down my cheek in happiness, in hopes you are smiling back at me. I will be attending the AOPi garden dedication this May. Pols I miss you so much. xoxoxoxo Friends Forever, Forever you are our Angel.

Birthday

Hello everyone.
As Polly's Birthday is nearing this May, I thought it would be amazing if we could collect any videos of Polly, pictures, and maybe even some new memories to share with each other. I have been thinking about Polly so much lately and dreading the date that I got the phone call that she was no longer with us. I really have some anxiety about this date so I would like to overpower it with the day of her amazing birth. I want to focus on how much we laughed with Polly, how much we learned from her and how much we all loved her. Please start posting and if you need any help with blogger, putting up videos or images, let me know.
Kari

I miss you so much...

Sounds creepy maybe, but I've been wanting a sign from you so bad.  It's a shame (or is it?) that I turn every single possible 'coincidence' in my life into your intervention?!  I miss your friends... I miss talking about you, I miss Kari, Lindsay, April, Jenn, Frank.  I'm sick of this shit!  I just want to talk to you and tell you I'm sorry we fought the last time.  I've replayed it so many times in my mind - I'm making myself crazy...I talked to a kind of 'objective party' and they said that it was, "good we finally got there," referring to our knock-down-drag-out we had the last time we were together.  I don't know that I'm totally on board, but I see her point and that's what sisters (real sisters) do.  We had just never gone there...it was a real sweet relationship, Pol.  I adored (adore_ you with all my heart.  I hope you know that......I love you  

Monday

My mind still plays tricks on me when I pick up my cell phone to call you. Like a lot of your friends Polly, I can't seem to bring myself to erase your name and number from my phone. So many calls we've made to one another for advice. So many texts to meet each other out somewhere. I dug my old phone out af a box the other day and found a text on there from you that wanted me to come down to see you at one of your comeday improv shows in L.A.(which I did) and you were amazing as usual. The star of the show as you stole the most applause from the audience when the MC introduced you. In some odd way, reading your text made it seem like you were still down in L.A. doing your thing. I know you must be watching over us. I can feel you when I have these overwhelming Polly moments. A leaf will blow when there isn't a breeze, a feeling of your presence when I'm out on a hike, a memory that makes me smile or laugh to myself. I wanted to write just to say I was thinking about you.
I wanted to write to say I was thinking about all of your friends, (even the ones I've never met) and wondering how they were all doing. I wanted to say I think about Heidi, Chris, Steph, the unborn baby, Mary Beth and Lew, Lindsay, April and Frank every night when I pray. This bond we all have because of you.

Polly and Frank had made an awesome DVD and sent it to us after we got back from our trip to Breckenridge in Feb. of 2006. It was such a special surprise and set to the song ''Under Pressure" by David Bowie. The kids and I have watched it several times and I have tried to download it here without success. If you've ever had that perfect trip or vacation - this was ours. Chris and I agree that it was almost magical in terms of our feelings of happiness and love in being together. I have a special recollection of one afternoon prying Polly away from Frank for a little girl time. We went down a few of our favorite runs - Polly leading the way as she was the map-reader, and then of course it was time for a break. We went to the lodge where we warmed up with some Irish coffees and girl-talk. This was our first time alone and we totally lost ourselves in conversation. I remember looking at her and having the warmest feelings for such a beautiful human being who was not only my blood, but the best friend I've ever had and will ever know.

A New Year

I don't know what to say Polly.

Happy New Year seems silly. Merry Christmas...? Just as dumb.

Steph and I found out on Christmas that we are having a baby girl, due just before your birthday - May 4th.

We are going to name her Polly Jean.

Never will I stop loving you.

Merry Christmas

I am thinking about you a lot today on Christmas. I went to a candlelight church service last night. There were only 15 other people there because of the winter storm we were hit with here in Portland. As the lights dimmed and we lit our candles to sing "Silent Night" I thought of you. I really felt you there with me in spirit, singing the carols and smiling.
Anyway, Merry Christmas Polly. I love you.

Happy Holidays, Everyone.

I meant for these two to be one piece but it was too long for UTUBE.